How to make money

Making money is pretty simple. I don’t do much of it but I figure I have this blog and a loud mouth so why not? That’s how it works right?

The first thing you need, obviously, is paper. Most of the money in the world is made using paper. Coins exist too but we are trying to make this simple so… You get it.

Then you need a printer. Now, I am not the best person to ask for advice on the best printers out there but this is something you could easily look up if you are really looking to make money.

DIY is in right now and you get those good bragging rights if you make your own dough. If you’re a millennial, the boomers will be so blown away not only by the fact that you have money, but that you also made it yourself. 10 points for cool you.

Now you have your paper, your printer, and the motivation to show those boomers. Let us begin

First, watch a few YouTube videos on everything wrong with capitalism so that in the end, you don’t feel so guilty about having money while other people in the world continue to starve to death. Look at you, you regular socialist you. Karl Max would be proud.

Then, watch the show “Money Heist” so you can feel like a bad ass and trick your mind into thinking that you could possibly get away with this.

Now, print your money, making sure to get both sides of your paper

Next, try to deposit it to a bank, where you will be arrested and taken to jail very swiftly

Now here comes the most important part so read carefully

When you arrive at Kamiti with that phone up your… Ahem well…you know, make sure to use your creativity wisely to get regular ole dumbass Kenyans to send you money. Don’t be dumb

Soon enough, you’re making thousands, maybe even millions as a prison con artist.

And that is how you make money.

You’re welcome

Photo by Pavel Kunitsky from Pexels

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