I have a sneaky suspicion that I am living in a romantic comedy. Unfortunately, the further along I go, the surer I become that there is a plot twist coming. It is really a tragedy. I mean, I have the makings of your average romcom main character. I wear glasses, I trip over my own feet (and words) and some people even call me nerdy. I am also a creative and dare I say, short. I am convinced that I fall so much so that the audience can have something to laugh at before a big truck comes out of nowhere and runs me over, reducing me to mush. On the other hand, I have a feeling I’m not even the main character on this show. Most people ignore me when I’m literally the only other person in the room or fail to notice my existence all together. I am waiting for the glow up that instantly turns the heads that have given me zero looks forever. I should probably get contact lenses first. It isn’t that my life is a joke, so far, I haven’t laughed at all, it is the fact that things happen to me that literally only happen in movies.
One time, I was drinking a glass of water, which slipped off my hand and fell on my laptop. I could swear I heard laughter. I live alone.
Then there was this other time I made hot chocolate, I put it on the coffee table and sat on my sofa at which point I kicked it on to my new rag. That one got a boo.
Then just this morning, there was a water outage in my area so I made some with the water heater the old-fashioned way. It was my last bucket of water. When I got to the shower, I slipped and fell with the bucket following right behind me. I went back to bed and wept. My ass still hurts and I still haven’t showered.
The best part though is that because I have convinced myself I live in a romcom, I often do things I probably shouldn’t, consequences be damned. It is a freeing kind of life. If you’re reading this and I have somehow broken the fourth wall, please tell my writers to give me just a tad bit more money. Thanks